


Bound & Brewed

by mucusmusing



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Real World, Angst and Fluff and Smut, Dom!Caduceus, Eventual Romance, M/M, Porn With Plot, Porn with Feelings, Slow Burn, sub!Caleb, the only ship that matters
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-02-04
Updated: 2019-05-11
Packaged: 2019-10-22 10:12:33
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 9,063
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17660765
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mucusmusing/pseuds/mucusmusing
Summary: Warning: This chapter includes vivid descriptions of an anxiety attack.





	1. Someone You’d Admire

Caduceus started every morning about the same. He always woke up as the sun peeked over the horizon, his eyes blearily opening and closing in the soft light. His ears twitched at the sounds of small birds chirping & squirrels rustling tree branches as they leapt from limb to limb just outside of the open window behind his head. A cool breeze tickled his broad nose & he inhaled deeply, exhaling with a low hum. 

He became conscious of his weight pressing into the mattress, muscles somewhat stiff from sleeping so heavily. He had worked late last night at the shop, his sister needed her shift covered so she could study for a particularly difficult exam. 

He began to extend his muscles slowly in a methodical, practiced way. From his toes to the tips of his fingers, his elongated form stretched until he could feel his heels coming off the edge of the bed. 

He yawned, blinking rapidly as he pushed himself up slowly out of the soft cotton sheets. His feet pressed firmly on the wooden floor & he gave himself one last roll of his neck before he stood.

The apartment was still & somber, morning light beginning to warm it with it’s yellow light. He whispered a thank you to Melora at such a lovely sight, the recently disturbed dust particles glowing. He began to go about his daily routine. 

First brushing his tangled hair with a bamboo comb, then pulling it into a messy updo. He smiled softly as he pinned it together with an emerald green & gold June beetle. A celebration of the beauty he had felt upon waking. It shone brightly against his soft pink curls. He felt very lovely looking at himself in the vanity, and decided to go the extra step to paint his nails the same vivid green. 

Caduceus picked his clothes contemplatively, a pale linen shirt with the buttons only half done up. Nothing to formal, quarter sleeved so as to not get in the way of work, a small amount of pink chest hair poking out that he paid no mind to. Fall was just beginning to show itself. The hot & humid air had crept back leaving room for a slightly drier chill to come slinking in the night. He buckled his warmer burnt orange corduroy overall straps, Caduceus liked how they reminded him of the color of leaves turning. 

He closed the heavy wardrobe doors before heading into the kitchen. Vermillion was perched on one of the several umbrella plants in the middle of the kitchen table, one eye darted in the opposite direction of the other, studying Caduceus. 

“Oh hey bud. How are we today?”

The chameleon made no effort to reply, flicking his eye back to a somewhat natural position.

“It’s gonna be that kind of morning, huh.”

He misted the umbrella plant with cool water. Vermillion’s eyes closed & he settled onto the stalk more comfortably.

“Yeah, isn’t that nice bud?”

He chuckled to himself before glancing at the clock. A quarter till six. He had just enough time to pack his lunch into a cloth bag, toss a long coat & scarf on.

“I’ll be home soon, keep an eye on the house for me.”

No response. He locked the front door, scooped up his sandals & climbed onto his bike. Tossing the lunch & sandals into the basket, he pedalled barefoot through the neighborhood.

It was a very peaceful ride into the city. Very few people were out & about, mostly just people working early, same as him. Cad only lived a 45 minute ride away from the shop. Just enough time to get lost in his thoughts. He had a few ideas for fall teas that he wanted to attempt when business was slow today.

He parked his bike in the stand outside of the Invulnerable Vagrant Tea & Spices store front, slipped on his sandals & locked his bike into place. Pumat had already turned the sign in the large window & Cad walked into the building ready for the aromas to meet him. 

Clove & nutmeg were the first two smells that intermingled and washed over him. A slight hint of cardamom & chamomile tickled his nose. He could hear Pumat in the back making a mess of something.

The bell jingled as the door shut behind him & the firbolg peeked his head out from the dark curtains.

“Why, hello there, Mr. Clay! What a wonderful morning to you. How are you my friend?”

“Oh, I’m quite well, thank you. What a wonderful morning indeed.”

He went behind the counter to hang his coat & bag from the wooden rack. He tied his apron around his waist & followed the head that vanished to see what strange concoction Pumat had put together.

The kitchen was chaos as was expected. Bun pans sat lined up on one of the counters, still steaming. Baked breads & small cakes were already piled high on metal trays. Pumat’s curly dark hair and face were dusted with a more than healthy coating of flour. His large form moved gingerly through the small room.

He looked up at Caduceus, eyes gleaming over his spectacles, a wide dopey grin beginning to spread.

Waving his oven mitt in the air he said, “Respectfully, Mr. Clay, I do believe I have finally mastered my pumpkin pie recipe.”

The timer on the counter dinged in response.

“Ooh, I’d better get that.” He turned and pulled the fresh pies out of the oven. 

“Well, they sure do smell appetizing. I’ll start filling up the display cases my friend, keep up the good work.” 

Cad loaded several of the trays on his long arms to carry them up front. Pumat made a sound of approval as he turned to stick a toothpick in one of the bun pans, already lost in his own work again. 

He smiled to himself as he placed the trays into the case, going back for more until all of Pumat’s goods were layered in an appeasing array. He brushed a few crumbs from his fur and sat on the stool by the cash register, humming to himself.

Pumat had already brewed a pot of chamomile tea & Cad’s favorite cup was filled to the brim. He sipped from it careful not to burn his lips. The warmth filled his chest pleasantly. They had owned their small shop & cafe for about 40 or so seasons. He couldn’t think of a better friend to start a business with, and even they were surprised by how much business was booming. 

Who knew city folk had such a need for nature’s comforts? He sure hadn’t expected it, but as technology and magic advanced, it made sense that people sought out said comforts in a quickly becoming sterile world. 

Customers trickled in at a steady pace. Picking up coffee & breakfast on their ways to work, students settling in for long study sessions & the occasional regulars restocking their spice cabinets. 

Caduceus studied his well worn copy of the History of Tea & Ceremony throughout the World once everything had slowed down to his liking. Fleet Foxes played above in the speakers quietly. The spine of his book had started to come apart & he made sure to keep the pages that were no longer attached in their proper place. He became so enamored in the correct process of grinding appropriate concentrations of matcha, he didn’t hear the bell ding as the door opened. 

A small cough followed by, “Um, ja, hallo.” A thick, reserved voice cut through his train of thought.

Caduceus glanced up from his page, forgetting the last few sentences he had just read, his mind clearing completely. With just a moment's hesitation, he put on his most pleasant smile he could manage in the presence of these intensely striking blue eyes framed by fiery hair.

“Oh my, my apologies, sir. What can I do for you?”


	2. He Doesn’t Know Why

Caleb woke up with a start. Confused & dazed, he barely opened one eye to look at his surroundings. His gaze met a pile of books a few inches from his nose. He huffed, pulled his head off of the table, groaning at the sharp tweak that wound it’s way down his neck to his shoulder blades.

A piece of slightly damp paper stuck to his cheek for a moment, peeling off & fluttering down to the table. He wiped the small bit of drool from the corner of his mouth before rubbing the new tender spot just below his ear.

“Ugh, schiesse,” he grumbled, looking up.

Frumpkin sat inside one of the small empty boxes on the table he had unpacked the night before. His yellow eyes stared at Caleb in what he could only assume was a judging manner, which seemed to be the cats most common facial expression. He meowed loudly at Caleb before stepping one paw at a time out of the box, padding closer to him. His tail whipped back & forth in a curious manner.

“Ah, Frumpkin. You must be hungry mein Freund, ja? What time is it?”

Frumpkin mewed in reply, moving in closer to rub his head on Caleb’s chin. He looked down at his watch while running a hand through his tangled mass of hair. The clock face told him it was 12:41 in the afternoon. He groaned again as Frumpkin purred happily against his scruff.

He scratched the cat’s back while rubbing his forehead on Frumpkin’s, taking a deep breath before pushing the hard stool back from the table. His back & his joints ached from sleeping bent over. He must have fallen asleep after taking a break from unloading the last of the boxes into his new, smaller office.

He stepped around them, careful to not knock the opened box of needles from where they were precariously perched at the edge. He pushed them to the middle of the box underneath it. Frumpkin hopped from the table to the floor & began to weave in between his feet, making the whole process that much more difficult. He made a string of sounds as he did so, that Caleb knew meant, hey get your lazy butt to the kitchen and feed me human.

“Ja, ja, I know. Just a moment. I know.”

He scooped Frumpkin up & opened the creaking door into the main floor. The whole place had an air of decomposition to it, and somewhat of a smell of it too. He loved it.. When looking at properties, he had lost hope in finding anything remotely suited for a book shop that would meet his personal tastes. 

The modern world felt as if it were moving on & he was being left behind it. Every where he’d looked was crisp, sleek & minimalistic in style. Painted all white with light wood and those god awful fake brick accent walls. The realtor had assured him that these types of locations were very popular amongst the younger demographic. 

For gods sake, was it too much to ask for some walls instead of windows? Books aged in the sun faster than water stained leather & books were even more difficult to correct. He needed the shadow, the cool shade. And even if there was a little dampness, it wasn’t anything that couldn’t be fixed with his rattling dehumidifiers.

The movers had already installed the shelves, boxes of inventory were organized by section in piles, waiting patiently to be properly displayed. There was so much work to be done still. He had painted the walls just last week, a sage green, the chemical smell still faintly hanging in the building. He wrinkled his nose. 

To worry about later, he thought to himself. 

Caleb patted Frumpkin’s head, heading up the narrow stairs in the back. They protested his weight with every step. It was like always having a conversation with an old man when he moved about, which he was often reminded he was quickly becoming. The door to the apartment sat slightly cracked open. 

He tried to push it forward with one of his palms slowly, but it’s hinges screeched loudly. Schiesse. He froze. Nott’s snoring paused for just a moment, some rustling, then picked up again. He let out a sigh of relief. She’d probably been up most of the night decorating if he knew her at all. He sat Frumpkin down & he slipped through the door not making a sound.

“If only we could be as quiet as you, you little geist you.”

Nott had definitely kept herself busy. She’d already arranged the few pieces of furniture they did have. Christmas lights were strung from the ceiling haphazardly. She’d hung up all of her knick knack shelves & filled them with a mix of miniatures, button jars & little spoons. The coffee table was littered with empty bottles.

Caleb stretched his legs, stepping on the patched rug to keep the floorboards from making any noise & crept around the sleeping little goblin. One of her legs and her arm hung off the couch, the blanket barely covering her bottom half. He picked it up & draped it over her. She didn’t even stir.

He went to kitchenette & pulled a can of cat food from the cupboard. Frumpkin began meowing loudly at his feet.

“Ja, ja, I know, patience bitte,” he whispered, pulling the can opener from a drawer. Frumpkin pawed at the bowl, causing it to rattle. Caleb put his foot down on it to cut the sound while trying to wedge his fingernail into the opening of the can. He felt a sharp pinch, a thin line of blood blooming on his fingertip.

“Fuck, fuckkkkk.”

He dumped the food in the bowl quickly before popping his index finger into his mouth, the strange penny taste lathing his tongue. With one hand he grabbed the coffee can & shook it. A few lone grounds rattled inside. He remembered seeing a cafe across the street last night when he was helping the movers.

“Ja, okay, schön.”

He headed to his small bedroom, which Nott had set up for him despite him very rarely using it. He smiled to himself. She’d even made his bed. He looked in the mirror to his left & shrugged at his wrinkled clothes before slipping his boots on.

It was chilly in the apartment despite the heat being on, so he grabbed his favorite coat & scarf. He checked his back pocket for his wallet & made an attempt at combing his hair with his fingers but quickly gave up.

When he came back out, Frumpkin had already finished his food & had curled up at Nott’s feet for a nap. He tiptoed out of the door, almost forgetting the keys in the bowl & had to double back for them. The door whined as he closed it, they definitely need some to invest in some oil.

The messy shop sat waiting patiently for him, almost as if it was saying to Caleb, look at me, I am a reflection of you. He ignored the clutter for the moment, passing by without so much as a glance. At least they’d left a walkway to the front door. He locked up the shop as the sun shined obnoxiously bright in his eyes.

A cold chill travelled up his coat, making him bury his face deeper into his scarf. He anxiously shifted his weight from foot to foot while waiting for the little walking man on the light to change.

Zadash was much busier than Blumenthal to say the least. The noise and speed were not what he had been accustomed to & it grated on his nerves like a sharp blade on thin wire. 

Despite Blumenthal growing much larger during his younger years, the town was not prepared to expand in such a short period of time. It was spread out unevenly & the part of town Caleb had opened his store in quickly became run down, forgotten.

And while he could have moved to a better location there, he had felt himself tiring of the place he grew up in & needed a change of pace. 

That’s when he had met Nott. She had just been passing through, a wild whirlwind of energy that brought new life into his old, bitter bones. He had been roped into her shenanigans that made wonderful stories to tell over a few drinks but at the time had pushed Caleb wholly out of his comfort zone. 

But he liked who he was when Nott was around, he didn’t hear his thoughts so loudly. 

A horn honking pulled him back to reality. A bicyclist had sped out into the traffic just as a car had began to turn. The driver slammed his horn again for emphasis as the cyclist continued on without so much as a second glance.

The light turned & Caleb walked briskly across the crosswalk. He wasn’t happy that they were out of coffee, he wasn’t happy that he had to go outside to get said coffee from some stranger & make pleasantries with them to get it. 

But he was tired & had plenty of work to do before the day would be over. And Nott liked fancy coffee. So he begrudgingly stood in front of the store. He kept his head down and paced a few steps back & forth before opening the door. 

The bell rang behind him. He glanced around the place, surprised by how warm & pleasant it seemed. There was only one other customer sitting on a plush leather chair reading a small green book.

Caleb couldn’t help but inspect the book. It was a fairly new edition, definitely machine bound with a sleek cover. The sewing band was uniform and matched the green of the cover. He could sew a much more interesting band with his eyes closed. 

He huffed at himself & knocked himself for being so confident in something that anyone could easily do by watching a YouTube video.

The smell overwhelmed his senses & he took it all in. It almost felt as if this odd store were more of a home more than a place of business. The dim orb lights made the cherry wood counters glow. A mellow folk song played from the speakers and he felt his nerves soften a little. The floor was scuffed to high hell & the ceilings had ornately embroidered tapestries to muffle the sounds. 

Cylindrical jars upon jars were lined up evenly on floating shelves with various sized & colored labels. He could smell chamomile & rich coffee that drew him to the counter. 

A strange man sat reading at the register. He was a wild blend of colors Caleb had never seen anyone fit onto one person. His candy floss hair hung over his face & even sitting down he towered over Caleb. He could see the man’s thin fingers holding a page up gently inside of the book as he read. 

He was so engrossed with the strange diagrams on the yellowed page, he didn’t notice Caleb whatsoever. He stood there for what felt like an hour, waiting for the man to notice him. The pink fur creeping up the man’s hand fascinated Caleb & he studied it silently. 

He didn’t want to break the silence, he didn’t want to invade this person’s world for a cup of coffee. After a moment, he finally willed himself to speak.

“Um, ja, hallo?”

He fixed his eyes where he expected them to be met & braced himself with what he’d say.

*Just ask for the coffee, Dummkopf.*

His breathing hitched. A firbolg, a firbolg with candy floss colored eyes focused in on him & met his gaze unwaveringly. A welcoming, slightly crooked smile crept onto his face that made Caleb’s heart stutter. 

In the deepest bass that rumbled like a distant storm, “Oh my, my apologies, sir. What can I do for you?”

Caleb forgot what he had come here for.


	3. The Cascades

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Warning: This chapter includes vivid descriptions of an anxiety attack.

Cad closed his book gently, doing his best to break polite eye contact with this interesting looking human that smelled of smoke, rich leather & other strange things he couldn’t quite place. 

The fan above them lazily circulated the scent around the room. Caduceus couldn’t help but notice as it overtook the more mild aromas coming from the jars, his heightened senses felt coated in it’s thickness. 

It mingled with the chamomile from his tea instead of overtaking it only because of the proximity to his own person & he let out a unexpected rumble softly from deep in his throat. 

*Oh.*

His heart sped up in his chest. Caduceus very rarely lost his composure & it surprised him deeply that something as simple as the combination of smoke, chamomile & leather would cause such a involuntary reaction. 

His smile tightened as he looked back up quickly to see if Caleb had noticed, but the wizard’s eyes were downcast to his worn brown boots as he scratched under his left sleeve nervously, very much in his own world. 

Caleb’s brain had short circuited, he’d forgotten the exact words he had prepared when faced with the challenge of communicating them. Everything shifted noticeably within just a few seconds of time. He felt each second. 

His face began to warm, while the rest of body felt as if gripped by ice cold fear.

The sounds of the room became muffled in his ears, as if cotton had been stuffed deep into them & a high pitched tone began to pierce through the dullness. 

He was having an attack. At a moment like this, over asking for some coff-

Lightheadedness slammed into Caleb, making him wobble slightly, his vision darkening to where all he could see were the ratted laces of his boots.

He had to leave. Now. Before it went into full swing.

He felt Caduceus’s eyes on him, well, it felt like eyes were all over to room, all trained on him intently, watching. Waiting. 

Caduceus was indeed looking at Caleb, but not with anything other than outright concern that the man did not seem to see. This stranger had paled so quickly before his very eyes & looked as if gripped with the visage of a horrific scene that was directly at his feet.

“Uhm, may I take your order sir? Or is there something else I can assist you with?” Cad spoke softly, lowering his voice a few octaves.

Caleb blinked a few times, his eyes widening as the deep voice broke through the ringing. He glanced behind himself towards the door like a caged animal, scratching more intensely at his wrist.

“Nein.. I mean no, uh, I am fine, I forgot my wallet. Have a nice day.” It came out more harshly than he had intended.

Before Caduceus could open his mouth to assure him that it wouldn’t be a problem, Caleb whipped around, his coat catching between his legs as he stumbled quickly toward the exit. 

He pushed the door open gingerly, the cool air hitting his face with a moment of clarity. Just enough to get him back to the shop, he thought. 

He half ran to the intersection, feeling his hearing begin to fade again. The sun burned his vision, making his head feel even lighter, liked he’d just fly away with the wind if he didn’t get there fast enough.

The light was green but he didn’t look for any cars as he hurried across the road. A driver smashed their horn loudly as they flew past, the air whipping his coat against the back of his head. 

He barely noticed as he broke out into a full sprint the few feet from the shop door steps. Pins and needles crept up his feet, resonating with each hard step.

He fumbled with his keys shakily, dropping to his knees, his breath becoming more & more shallow. The key veered in every direction other than the keyhole. 

*Schiesse. Scheisse. Scheisse.*

Just as he finally had it aligned, the door opened and Nott’s large dish sized yellow eyes peered out from the darkness.

“Caleb? Oh gods, Caleb, fuck.”

“Nott, bitte, please, hilfe.”

She immediately went into mom mode, grabbing his shoulders and pulling him inside of the door, slamming it shut behind them. This wasn’t the first time this had happened, she knew how to handle this.

Caleb began to hyperventilate, curling in on himself on the floor, deflating like a balloon. She pulled his hands away from his wrists and held them tightly, calling out for Frumpkin. 

The orange cat poked its head out from the top of the stairs to look down at them. 

“It’s okay Caleb, I’m here. Frumpkin is here. He’s coming right now. It’s okay, I promise, you’re safe now.”

Frumpkin descended down the stairs and padded over to them silently. Nott placed Caleb’s tensed up hands onto the cat. They immediately slid into the fur & he pulled Frumpkin to his chest, burying his face into the cat’s neck. The cat relaxed into it, starting up a deep rumbly purr, nuzzling Caleb’s cheek.

They sat like that for what felt like hours. Nott leaned on Caleb’s hip from behind, knowing the extra pressure would keep him grounded. 

The clock ticked monotonously, slicing through the ringing in his head like a scissor to string. He focused on the sound & the vibrations of the purring, letting it blanket him in the dimness of the room.

Eventually his breathing slowed & the rocking stopped. He uncoiled, gently rolling onto his back. Frumpkin turned into a loaf on his chest, making biscuits on the scarf. Nott shifted to a sitting position with her legs crossed. 

She watched him without expression and he could finally truly see her, and everything around her. 

Tears welled up, pricking at the corners of his eyes.

“I am so sorry.” he said, his voice ragged.

“Caleb, you have nothing to be sorry for.”

She leaned forward, running her long nails through his tangled hair, scratching lightly at his scalp. He leaned into it, sighing deeply.

“That’s what you think. You are not entirely correct.” 

He felt heavy, worn down.

“Come on, let’s go upstairs, I’ll make you some coffee.”

He laughed bitterly, sitting up & scooping Frumpkin into his arms.

She helped him up from the floor, unsteady as he was, he felt like a baby lamb taking its first few steps. He pushed down the guilt swimming in his gut & regained his footing. At the foot of the stairs, he stopped and turned, looking down at his little friend.

“There is no coffee. I went out, to eh, get some from across the street & I uh, didn’t get any.” Another apology without the words.

Nott waved it away casually. “No worries, I’ll go. Black Eye, right? With two shots of espresso?”

“Ja, make it three.” He pulled his wallet from his coat & tossed it to her. She snatched it from the air without looking, her quick fingers pocketing it faster than his eyes could follow. 

“Go get warmed up, I turned up the heater. I’ll be back in a few.” 

She patted his butt playfully, before pulling her hood up over her face & turned to leave. She picked the keys up from the floor, glancing back at him as she opened the door.

“Well? Go!”

She flashed a grin of sharp teeth & he smiled half heartedly at her before taking the stairs. He heard the door rattle the beams as he ascended.


	4. Drops In The River

Caduceus watched the copper haired man’s back rushing away from him. He stood up quickly as the cab sped just inches away from hitting Caleb’s small form. 

He could hear the car horn through the glass, rushing from behind the counter towards the entrance. He pressed a hand to the window, the cold seeping into his fingertips. 

He was posed for action, ready to push past the door & out into the busy street but the man broke into a run towards the old building that had been empty for at least a year as far as Caduceus had known. 

He collapsed on the steps & Cad pushed the door open just as the door of the other building mirrored his own. A small person pulled the man inside and slammed the door behind him, but not before Caduceus saw a look of concern on their face.

He carefully stepped back inside, watching for some time, just staring at where they had been.

“Well, that was awkward,” Pumat’s voice was right by his shoulder & he nearly jumped out of his skin.

“Melora’s GRACE! Please do not do that.” 

Pumat slapped a heavy blue hand on his shoulder and laughed before quickly turning somber, saying, “That there sure was an awful panic attack if I’ve ever seen one, poor fella.” 

Caduceus frowned deeply, tapping his aproned leg absentmindedly. 

“You could say that.. I wish I had been able to do something to help him.”

“There’s only so much any of us can do my dear fuzzy friend, don’t trouble yourself with the things that have already happened & look to the present, what we can do right now.” 

Pumat released his grip on his shoulder before heading back towards the kitchen, humming a low, haunting tune. 

Caduceus begrudgingly turned around, brushing his apron off from non existent crumbs. He felt deeply unsettled within himself. He bent down to take a sip of his tea, his tail twitching back & forth. 

He grabbed a carafe from the counter & went to refill the woman’s cup who sat reading by the window. She sat with her legs spread wide, blue drop crotch pants & wraps draped around her. She didn’t look up from her book while he poured, her almond shaped eyes focused intently.

He grabbed the empty plate from the small table piled with yellowing scrolls as she spoke, her eyes never leaving the page. “What was the guy’s deal?”

Hugging the carafe to his chest he said, “I have absolutely no idea.” He tried to hide his regretful tone with light interest.

“He’ll get over it. Being better is something you have to work at, I guess.”

“I guess. Can I get you anything else ma’am?”

“Nah, it’s Beau, not ma’am. Thanks.” She grunted, reaching for the coffee, her bangles tinkling against each other. 

“My apologies, enjoy your time at the Vagrant. Beau.”

“Always do, Mr. Deuce. Always do.”

Caduceus almost protested the informal use of his name, but thought better of it & smiled a lopsided grin to himself.

The bell announced another customer & he quickly hurried behind the counter to greet them.

“Welcome to the Invulnerable Vagrant, where a journey of a thousand miles begins with a single steep!” He chuckled heartily, adapting a better disposition at his own joke. 

A small goblin woman peered up at him suspiciously, her head barely reaching to top of the cash register.

She let out a short, sharp pitched, “Ha! Steep as in tea, I get it. Can I get a Dead Eye & caramel mocha blended drink with extra whipped cream?”

Caduceus raised an eyebrow, smirking. “Coming right up.” 

He began to fill the portafilter with the aromatic espresso expertly with both hands, while his tailed collected the syrups & ice on the counter behind him. 

She watched him do all of this, with sharp interest in every movement he made. He knew she was the one that had pulled the man inside the building.

Nott tried to get a read on the unique looking man making their drinks. He passed the filter to his tail while pouring everything into the blender, then tapped the filter into the knock box. 

If she hadn’t seen him watching them from across the street, ready to bolt towards Caleb, she would have never known just a few minutes ago how distressed he had been. 

All she could see now was how calm & skillful he was at his job, he radiated a gentle kindness that was almost unnatural in it’s mysterious origin. 

Nott knew that her best friend’s attacks happened out of nowhere sometimes & that talking to strangers could be a trigger but this man, how he could elicit such a reaction from Caleb was... unexpected. 

Cad slid the two cups to her, ringing it up. He seemed to be looking right through her, inspecting in a way she was used to but not from him & she made a point of staring him down back. That’s probably what it had been. Caleb didn’t like to be *seen*.

The cash register drawer shot open, but he closed it before she could grab the wallet from her jacket.

“It’s on me. Welcome to the neighborhood.”

Nott grinned from ear to ear, she liked this dude already.

“Hey thanks, Mr?”

“Clay, Caduceus Clay. Let me know what you guys think of your drinks sometime soon, okay?”

“Okay.. Mr. Clay. We’ll do that. We just moved across the street from you, so I’m sure we’ll see a lot of each other around.” 

“Oh, I don’t doubt it, take care now.” He waved his bony thin fingers in a little half wave, his heavy lidded eye gave her a quick wink.

“Caleb & I are going to have a grand opening next week for the book store. You should come.”

“That sounds really nice, I think I’d like that.”

He watched her leave, holding back the smile creeping onto his face.

“Oh hey, she seems pretty swell.” Pumat again, right at his ear. He hissed, tensing up.

“Y’know, for someone so observant, you sure are dense,” followed by the swish of the curtain and muffled chuckling.

Caduceus settled into his chair, finishing off the dredges of his tea. He picked up his book again, trying to find the page he’d left off on. He didn’t notice Beau had left, or that the sun had went down, or that he had unconsciously been tracing his pink tipped tail in a lazy c motion on the floor over & over again.

“Mr. Caleb huh?” he mumbled to himself, flipping a page.

He could still faintly smell the rich, deep tobacco on his fur.


	5. Fool’s Errand

Caleb & Nott spent the rest of week setting up the shop in preparation for the grand opening. They had worked diligently every day & night, only taking breaks when their eyes could no longer stay open without being taped to their eyebrows, which was a suggestion by Nott, but was quickly vetoed for the sake of their eyelashes.

The neon window sign arrived first. Nott had came up with the new name, something more eye catching & clever than “Blumenthal Books”. 

After the sign company had installed it, they both took a moment to admire the view from the street. It was massive & took up the whole display window, the words glowing a bright orange. 

BETTER READ   
THAN DEAD  
A tomb of tomes  
& restoration

Nott looked up at Caleb’s illuminated face in the dark, pride swelling in her chest as he softly smiled. He looked younger, lighter in these moments when he thought no one was watching. She put her small hand in his & squeezed it reassuringly before heading inside. He stood there in silence for a few more minutes before following her in.

The sign brought a lot of attention from passersby on the street. As they worked, they would see a face or two that peeked curiously into the crack of the curtained window, Nott would give a toothy grin & wave kindly to the inquisitive before they would awkwardly pull away and hustle off. She made fliers to hang around the neighborhood & put some by the door to help curb the awkward encounters. 

By the end of the week the books had been unpacked & organized into their appropriate sections. They had went to the hardware store to get wood for shelves that Frumpkin could use to scale onto the tops bookcases for when he felt like spying on browsing customers.

Caleb felt such contentment at getting things back to the way they were before that he didn’t even care how absolutely worn out he was. He had meticulously organized his office the first day & promptly wrecked it into the perfect mess of order he was familiar with by the next. 

He had a few commissions from before they moved that needed finished so he stayed up late every night after Nott had went to bed with his hair tied up & his back thankful for the solid worn out leather chair under him.

There was something about repairing torn up books that he found so soothing, taking something dying & reviving it with new life gave him purpose. The methodical stitching, the sound of paper being compacted by clamps, the mixing of pastes, the tedious process coming together in a harmonious conclusion of the sound of a book being closed with a soft thump.

At Caleb’s insistence, Nott was the one who made the coffee runs to the Vagrant. He’d watch her from the window walking across the street, her small form opening the door & disappearing inside. He envied her immensely. She always came back with a skip in her step, babbling on about the odd fellow who ran the cafe, about how friendly & funny he was. 

At every mention of him, Caleb felt warmth rise to his cheeks, the tight pit of embarrassment welling up deep in his stomach. He’d made such a fool of himself in front of the firbolg, he never wanted to show his face again. Nott had assured him that Caduceus Clay, that was his name, hadn’t minded at all & had been more worried than annoyed but it didn’t stop the small voice in his head from whispering little tendrils of poison into his brain.

*Now another person sees what you see, how damaged you are.*

*Can’t even handle a little humanoid interaction anymore, huh?*

*You’re going to die alone because you can’t make any friends other than Nott.*

*She’ll get tired of you doing this too, eventually.*

It could go on forever. He’d push it back with physical tasks but it’d creep back in after all was quiet & the moon was out. Burning the wick at both ends could only lead to a puddle of cold wax.

They’d stop around midnight or so & he go have a smoke before returning to work. The fall nights were chilly & the wind would curl into the alcove of the door. He’d wrap himself in his coat & nestle himself into the corner, a small flame sparking on his fingertip long enough to ignite the cigarette with a long pull into his lungs.

It was around this time that Mr. Clay would lock up his shop & get on his bicycle to head home for the night. Caleb would watch his lithe yet gangly form packing up his things in the basket, nodding to anyone who happened to walk by with a lopsided grin. He’d watch the shock of pink hair pedal away from the shadows of the streetlamps until it faded into the distance. 

He could still feel those coral eyes from that day, examining him intently, looking into him & felt a little bit of satisfaction in being able to do the same within his hiding spot, mingled with some guilt for spying. He was a coward. 

A grown ass man of a coward for feeling guilty pleasure at admiring another man from across the street but not even able to build up the nerve to go say hello. Having Nott give him second hand information as subtly as he could without raising her suspicions. He felt like a teenager again, a stupid jolt of excitement rushing into him each night that Caduceus walked out, like clockwork. 

This happened for the next several days, the firbolg never looked in his direction, never seemed to notice him peering out of the dark like some kind of ghoul. He’d go back inside after one more cigarette & bury himself back in the rhythm of stitching until he’d fall asleep in his chair with Frumpkin purring happily in his lap.


	6. Meadowlarks

It was the morning of the grand opening, the first Saturday of the month of October. The downtown area had been closed off by roadblocks on the main street as well as the small alleys leading to it. Once a month, Zadash held an arts & culture festival to encourage supporting small businesses, as well as bringing the community together. There were a variety of vendors lining the streets under multicolored tents, setting up their booths in the early morning.

A massive display of pumpkins had been placed directly in front of the shop, organized by size & ranging in color from green to the most vibrant of oranges on ascending bales of hay. The air smelled strongly of cinnamon & apple butter. Caleb watched the bustle from the steps, sitting & absentmindedly fidgeting with his collar of the button up that Nott had insisted he wear under his dark green wool sweater, tingling anxiety creeping up his spine.

She’d bombarded him after his shower with an outfit she’d picked from his closet, even fussing with his hair, combing it out of his eyes with a bit of mousse he knew not the origin of. He didn’t care about appearances all that much, he couldn’t see any reason not to be comfortable in his well worn jeans & henleys, even if they did have more than a few holes in them. 

But Nott had emphasized how badly they needed to make a good first impression with their business, this area being much more competitive with lot spaces than the sleepy downtown area he had been privy to all his life. He could at least agree on that, their rent was stifling in comparison & they needed to at least double their profits to account for it. If that meant pretending to be more put together than he felt, he supposed he could manage that most of the time.

Caleb huffed begrudgingly, pushing himself up to stand. The older gentleman stacking gourds in a cart next to the hay looked up with a warm smile, eyes wrinkling pleasantly & nodded politely as a greeting towards him. He nodded back before turning back to the door, fighting the urge to smoke a quick cigarette before going back in. Ja, ja, ja, first impressions & what not.

Nott glanced up from her game on her Switch as he came in. She paused what sounded to Caleb like Mario Kart, setting it down on the counter while searching his face with her large, sharp eyes. He locked the deadbolt behind him.

She had decided to wear a vest completely covered in pins & buttons over a black turtleneck and baggy high waisted pants. She somehow managed to look cool & professional at the same time. Caleb in comparison felt like he was back in grade school being dropped off for picture day.

“How are you feeling, Caleb?”

She hopped down from the stool, her head disappearing for a moment before reappearing again around the side as she walked towards him. She reached out her hand to grab his, pressing her thumb into his palm & the rest of her fingers on the opposite side with a mild pressure that she knew grounded him. He felt himself relax minutely. 

“I am just not sure if I can, uh, deal with so many customers at once, mein freund. The busiest day of the month, wissen sie?”

He ran his free hand through his hair gently, trying to keep it undisrupted in Nott’s carefully arranged coif. 

“I knowww, but it’s going to be fineee Calebbbb. That’s why I’m here! I’ll ring up the customers & only grab ya from your office if someone has some obscure book request that only you have memorized in that dusty filing cabinet you call a brain!”

He laughed heartily at that as she squeezed his palm reassuringly, flashing him a toothy grin.

“Ah, that is what I like about you. You are right.”

“I’m always right silly boy.”

He chuckled, ruffling her dark hair with fond affection. She swatted him away playfully, pretending to grumble before fixing a few strands back into place.

“That you are. Alright, I will be in my office with the door open. Let me know if you need any help though, ja?”

He began to head toward the glass boxed room but stopped when Nott exclaimed, 

“Wait! I got you something!”

She ran behind the counter, making a loud clatter in the cabinets before unexpectedly tossing a brown paper wrapped package over it. Caleb instinctually reached up his hands in defense as it smacked into his chest before he awkwardly fumbled it into his hands. He was glad she hadn’t seen that. His ears felt hot & he let out an awkward cough.

“You got me a present? Was ist es?”

She clambered back onto the stool, ears perked up & yellow eyes bright, intent. She was practically vibrating.

“Open IT! It’s a surprise!”

It felt very heavy in his hands but had give when he gently squeezed it. He carefully untied the twine before winding it into a small circle, tucking it into his pocket. He then began to gently pull the haphazard tape from the paper, trying his best not to rip it.

“Oh my GODS CALEB just RIP IT OPEN ALREADY!!!”

He smirked, pausing just a moment before roughly tearing the paper in half. The object fell to the floor with a dull thud, metal clinking together as it hit. He rolled the wrapping paper into a ball & tossed it at her but she dodged it expertly, hissing in response. He picked up the weighty folded leather pile, peeling it apart to get a better look at it.

A murmur of appreciation escaped him as he took in the artfully crafted apron. It was sturdy, made of a rich saddle brown leather, lined with orange stitching around all of the edges & covered in a dark laser etched design of cats dotting the whole thing, posed into all kinds of cat like activities. It had pockets & loops for all of his tools, along with orange dyed thin leather strips for the head loop & ties in the back. Nott peered at him expectantly with her head resting in her hands, trying to hide her smug expression as she watched him stare at it, slack jawed. It even had a small copper plate embossed with his name in curly font over the breast pocket.

“Nott, this must have been very expensive. I do not deserve this,” he said, pulling it to his chest with a forlorn look to her. As if somehow it would vanish from his grasp, he clung to it tighter.

She waved her hand in the air as if shooing his words away. “Nonsense! You work harder than anyone I’ve ever met, if anyone deserves something that’s nice it’s you. And your old apron is disgusting anyways, it’s more holes than apron anyhow.. Well? Put it on already!”

He did so obediently, tying the leather strap around his waist. It fit him perfectly, falling just below his knees, clinging to his slim form like it was made just for him.

“I took your measurements while you were sleeping!” Nott cackled maniacally, rapidly tapping the tips of her fingers together.

He grimaced. “Ja, so that is so not unsettling at all.”

She continued laughing spookily to only prove his point further. 

There was a knock at the door that startled them both out of the moment. A large blue man shadowed the entire window, smiley dopily and waving his thick fingered hand at them. He held up a tray covered in plastic wrap for them to see.

“Uh, Nott, who is that?” Caleb asked with a tinge of concern laced in his voice.

“Oh! That’s Pumat! He works at the Vagrant, he must be here with Caduceus! I asked them if we could pay to have them cater some baked goods & drinks for us for the opening!”

Caleb felt his heart plummet into his stomach. He began to awkwardly back towards his office as Nott jumped over the counter like Frumpkin. She grabbed onto the apron & gave him a stern momma Nott glare. She held up a finger to Pumat to signal him to wait just a second. He shrugged casually. Then she redirected the finger onto him.

“Oh no ya don’t. Stay right there. Avoiding him, it’s causing you more stress, Caleb. The last thing you need is more stress. I know you feel embarrassed & ashamed with how you guys met before but you can either keep creeping on him from our stoop or you can prove to yourself that you’re stronger than your own negative thoughts & move past it. Cad doesn’t judge you for what happened & if he did, he wouldn’t be worth our time. You know that.”

She watched his lips press into a thin line. He was looking directly at her, but at the same time, through her. Breaking down her words, arguing with himself.

He spoke after a minute or so, carefully formulating his sentence.

“I, uh, I am not surprised that you picked up on these things. You are better at sorting out my feelings than I am, which I am not proud of, it should not be your responsibility. Definitely better at it, but I do, I do want to be as good as you, better even, if I can.” His faced was creased with the concern & effort. Her stern face fell.

“Oh Caleb, it’s fine. All I ask is that you try. And you try so hard, I know. Just keep trying,” she said, reaching for his hand again.

He let her take it. “Ja, okay, I will try, for you.”

She tugged his hand sharply, not painfully, just to emphasize her next sentence.

“No, you need to try for yourself. No one else.”

“Always right, you are. I am grateful for you.” 

“I know you are, silly boy.”

The creases smoothed on his brow, replaced by the faintest of crow's feet around his eyes as he looked fondly down at her. He ruffled her hair once more before pulling her into a tight hug. They stood in the quiet together for what felt like ages, but was no more than a minute before Nott broke it.

“Uh, Caleb?”

“Yes Nott?”

“Pumat & Cad are still outside right now.”

“Oh, ja, of course they are. Ha ha.”

He removed his arms from around her, patting her shoulder. He looked towards Pumat, offering an apologetic smile. Pumat offered a lazy grin & shrugged again, waving the baked goods up to the window in a coaxing way. Caleb couldn’t help but grin as he unlocked the deadbolt & opened the door for the figure towering over him.

“Hallo, my apologies for the delay, please come in. Willkommen to Better Read Than Dead! My name is Caleb Widogast. You have already met my esteemed colleague Nott. I’ve heard a lot about the Vagrant from her & it’s wonderful owners. It’s nice to finally meet you.”

Nott bowed dramatically to punctuate his introduction.

“Hey! Very formal. Nice to meet you too bud, we’ve heard a lot about you as well! Hey Nott, nice to see you again!” 

Pumat engulfed Caleb’s hand with a hearty shake before stepping inside to high five Nott, all while balancing the tray in his other hand. Caduceus walked in in behind him, ducking so as to not hit his head on the door frame. He straightened up, looking down at Caleb, his coral eyes staring directly into his own unwaveringly. The corner of Caduceus mouth ticked up before he spoke.

“Hey, you must be Mr. Caleb. I’m Caduceus, Caduceus Clay. It’s nice to finally meet you too.”

His tone was friendly, but measured, as if he weighed every word on his tongue before speaking it. It had a deep reverberation that seemed to come from Caduceus but also from nowhere at all. It made Caleb feel on edge & calm at the same time. It was a very strange sensation he had never felt around another person. It was captivating.

“Ah, Herr Clay, ja. I, uh, I got off the wrong foot last we-”

“Pardon me, I don’t mean to interrupt Mr. Caleb, but we’ve never met before, have we?” he said, feigning a confused, mildly amused look.

Any tension built up from the shock of them showing up unexpectedly fizzled entirely from Caleb. He looked up at this man, this tall, lean beautifully kind man who just so happened to be pretending for his sake that nothing had ever happened at all.

“No, we did not, I was mistaken. I’m glad we’re meeting now though.” He extended his hand towards Cad. 

Caduceus wrapped his lanky, fuzzy fingers around Caleb’s and squeezed ever so slightly.

“As am I, Mr. Caleb, as am I.”

They both smiled at one another, Caleb blushing under his stare before turning away to look at Nott, breaking off the handshake almost hesitantly.

“Alright, well,” he clapped his hands together, “let’s bribe some people with delicious baked goods to buy our books!” 

Nott jovially cheered, tearing open the plastic wrap ferally. 

Pumat gestured back to the street, “We’re gonna go get the carafes, then we’ll be out out of your hair in no time.”

Nott already had a puffed pastry stuffed into her mouth as she mumbled, spitting crumbs onto the floor, “You guys can *mmhpfh* stay in our hair for as long you want, right Caleb?”

Caleb coughed into his hand, feeling his blush deepen, “Ja, yes, of course. You both are always welcome here.”

“That’s very nice of you to say,” Caduceus said, “I’m sure we’ll see you guys around. Stop by the Vagrant later today if you need a pick me up. It’s on me.” His look lingered on Caleb for a moment longer, enjoying the pink under his freckles just a little too much, then he turned to leave. Pumat lumbered behind him, shutting the door on his way out.

Caleb let out a long exhale, “You are going to be the death of me Nott.”

She licked the crumbs of her fingers before winking at him.

“And you love it.”

“Schiesse, ja. Alright, let’s get this started.”

Outside Pumat & Caduceus were walking across the street.

“You like him, don’t you?” Pumat said while looking at a particularly large pumpkin as they passed.

“That would be hard for me to say for sure, I hardly know him.”

“Well, he likes you, I think.”

His keys jangled as he unlocked the front.

“Yeah, I think so too.”

He felt himself grin a goofy grin, glancing back at the neon orange sign. He hoped Caleb would stop by later so he could tell him that smoking was a nasty habit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you guys are enjoying this so far, I know it's gonna be pretty lengthy from how the chapters are turning out. Haha. Feedback is always appreciated though, I don't have a beta or anything so I'm just kind of flying by the seat of my pants. Anyways, thanks for all the support, it means the world to me.


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